TIME HUNTERS are out to kill you, dear listener. Help is on the way in the form of this transtemporal audio transmission. Good luck.
written and produced by Richard R Penner. The amazing music for this episode is by Psychic Mold, Dr Quandary, Aliceffekt and Matthew Schoendorff. Find more of their music at:
Psychic Mold www.psychicmold.bandcamp.com
Dr Quandary www.DoctorQuandary.com
Matthew Schoendorff www.matthewschoendorff.com/
Transcript for 1x19 TIME HUNTERS
The following is an annotated transcript of episode #1684235 of The Infinite Now. Originally broadcast from outside of space-time to Earth, June 30th 2015. Despite the recurring "accidents" that destroyed a majority of the intercepted Infinite Now recordings, this recording still survives. Listen to it here.
CRYSTAL: Incoming transmission from The Timescanner.
(More temporal static than usual)
TIMESCANNER: This broadcast is being sent on different wavelengths than usual. Instead of being tuned to temporal radio frequencies, this message has been encoded into coincidences. Binary 1s and 0s forming an MP3 file encoded in the repeated patterns of traffic accidents, and in unusual weather patterns. The cicadas outside your bedroom window are singing messages to you in morse code.
This message is not being sent to Time Agents, but to a few lucky timebound civilians who are getting close to the Time Bureau’s secrets. You are receiving this message because you have identified the patterns we left for you. I am the Timescanner. I have been watching you from outside of time. You have been following synchronicities in your life like a trail of bread crumbs and they are leading you toward the answers you’ve been seeking. ALeading you toward the true nature of time and reality. Don’t give up now. You are also receiving this transmission because up until this point in time you have lived an inconsequential life
If you received this transmission I regret to inform you that your life has been deemed to so far have no effect on the spacetime continuum. I'm talking on a galactic scale, helping little old ladies cross the street or taking in a stray dog won’t count here. That’s wonderful of you. Great. I'm happy you did that. But it won’t save your life.
That’s right. You are in danger.
An inconsequential life is the most dangerous life possible. With a worse mortality rate than that of most reckless adventurers.
This is because the inconsequential such as yourself are always in grave danger. The inconsequential are hunted for sport by rogue time travelers known as TimeHunters. To any Time Hunter with a lust for blood you are an animal rady to be slaughtered. Target Practice. You are as good as dead already.
Time Hunters can safely kill you right now. Slicing your jugular or poisoning your morning coffee will not result in any temporal paradox or alteration of the primary timeline. Chasing you down a dark alley and severing your limbs with lasers won’t accidentally prevent anybody’s grandmothers from being born. Hunting you down with killer drones the size of mosquitos won’t change who wins World War 3. Because your life as you are currently living it doesn’t move the trajectory of your timeline one single degree.
Here. Remove one earbud. Listen. You can hear them coming for you now. They’re in the hall. [sounds of whispering and footsteps in the hall] Hear them? Now. Shh. Put your earbud back in.
You can’t escape from the Time Hunters like some sort of action movie hero. They’ll outrun you, outfight you. They’re weapons will pierce your skull instantly and they will not miss. The only thing you can do is make yourself consequential. Shh. Ok. Right now. If you make a decision in this very moment to do something with your life and you follow through with it that will put you on the Time Hunters’ No Kill list. But you have to do it right now. They're getting closer.
(Voices in alien languages coming from the other side of the bedroom door.)
Can you feel a change in barometric pressure?, the faint scent of ozone in the air? The Time Hunters’ weapons are sucking electric ions from the air. charging for the kill.
You’ve heard about the butterfly who flapped its wings in Detroit, causing a giant lizard to attack Tokyo? You must become that butterfly. Right now.
Do something, anything, to put more of you into the universe. And the universe will create opportunities for your influence to spread. Put more of your true self into the universe. The universe will be better for it. The timeline you ride will be moved, even if slightly. And because of this you will be spared.
Ok. Have you thought of how you can affect the world yet? Think quickly. Let the sounds of your assassins outside the door motivate you.
Stand up again. visualize it. Visualize what it is you have to do. Visualize what it is that you can do that nobody else can do in the world. And take another step toward it. Always keep one foot in front of the other. Take a vow right now that for the rest of your life you will keep moving, working toward whatever goal it is that you thought of.
Think harder. Clearer. Plan your next action.
That’s it. You’re doing it. With each step toward Your potential, the Time Hunters take a step away from the door.
Hear that creaking of floorboards? They’re backing away from you as your signal on their existentially-lost-o-meter weakens.
(Heavy steps in your direction.)
Oh no. Was that a doubt? Listen. Shh. The Time Hunters are turning your way again.
Here they come. It occurs to me now that you may find that you are still unable to act even though you want to. Even if you know how you want to change the world. To save your life from the Time Hunters. And if that's true I have especially bad news for you.
You have already been hunted. The Time Hunters have already killed you. You are already dead. Your life when you lived it was inconsequential and your body is now a corpse hidden by Time Hunters somewhere in a distant time. Somewhere it will never be found. Your body has been replaced by a will-less biological android whose physiology is identical to your original self. And the you you think that you are is an automaton going through your old day to day motions. It's just a placeholder mimicking life and waiting to play out a common boring old death so that nobody you’ve ever known will know that little old you ever did anything as interesting as being killed by Time Hunters. What’s that? You don't want to be a placeholder automaton? Well, I guess since Placeholders are identical to the real thing, and since time can be changed back to front just as easily as front to back, I guess that you could probably decide to be in a timeline where you are still alive.
The only way to tell the difference between a human and a will-less decoy is that living humans have the will to act. So I guess it's not necessarily too late if you do something of value that will affect your timeline. So choose to make yourself real again. Cut the strings Pinnochio and step toward Your Future. There's not much I can do here. It's all up to you. Choose what you are. Choose to be alive. Choose to have n effect on the world around you.
The truth is that there are infinite timelines and in some you are inconsequential and you were killed and replaced by this placeholder body incapable of free will. In other timelines you were consequential and contributed to society and lived long enough to meet your first Time Bureau Agent, perhaps if you find yourself in one of those timelines you could even live to even attend the Time Bureau Academy. At this point in time you probably can’t tell which of those timelines you are in. The only way is to DECIDE which timeline you are in. By acting. By living as more than an automaton. By putting more of what is uniquely you into the world, and by investigating more of the patterns and coincidences that will lead you to be contacted by the Time Bureau for further instructions...and possibly...may lead you to recruitment.
Follow my advice and you will live hear from me again soon.
Good luck potential Time Agent.
CRYSTAL: This has been and will always be The Infinite Now
CRYSTAL: Transmission Complete.