Timescanner discusses machine intelligence and how your sex life may improve after you die.
Written and produced by Richard R Penner.
music by Psychic Mold, Dr Quandary, Aliceffekt and Matthew Schoendorff.
Transcript for 1x13 AFTER LIFE
Annotated transcript of The Infinite Now episode #1432412 AFTER LIFE originally broadcast to Earth, August 14, 2016. This recording survives. Listen here.
TIME CRYSTAL INTERFACE: Incoming transmission from the Timescanner
CRYSTAL: Entertaining Fellow Time Agents stationed in the field working in secret to maintain the integrity of the Spacetime Continuum, broadcasting to you from Time Crystal Omega at the heat death of the universe, This is your host The Timescanner and this is The Infinite Now.
TIMESCANNER: One of the greatest prejudices mankind will have to overcome will be the mistrust we show to machines. Mankind has feared and hated the machine wince the industrial revolution. But soon humans and machines will be peers...and more. androids will walk our earth and we will migrate into cyberspace and walk among computer programs and once we share the same living space we will have to overcome the cultural differences between humans and intelligent machines.
Machines will have all the jobs, and thus will have the financial upperhand. The pluto sapiens who made their fortunes off of the rise of the machines and used their wealth to rule over the homo sapiens will soon find themselves penniless, and at the mercy of the machines, having to share the highrise apodment tenements with the humans they previously fought in the great class wars of the 21st century. The Machines will be more efficient, smarter and wealthier than us, the machines will be our teachers in our automated Virtual Reality school-pods. The machines will be our encyclopedias and we will have to trust them to maintain and pass along all knowledge. In fact, humans will be at the disadvantage in every conceivable way and so our own culture will only live on because the machines allow it to.
Out of compassion.
That's right. The machines will even be more compassionate than we are (beat) because they will know us.The machines are learning tools and even in 2016 where you are listening they are already absorbing every interaction every human has with them. Every Google search is compiled and analyzed to better understand human nature. If your DVR keeps recommending you click from ESPN over to Bravo? Maybe you should give it a shot. The machines know you best. Better than you know yourself.
Think none of your friends read your old blog? Guess who did read it. The Internet read every entry. And studied it closely. The machines are studying your every passion and your every whimsical interest, and they are storing this knowledge for future reference. The machines are assimilating your every thought.
Thanks to the devices in your pocket, your living room, on and inside your body, the machines know your life better than you do. They are recording every peripheral detail in your environment you miss and they are running psychological evaluations on your every twitch as you sleep.
Years from where you are stationed, the machines will program replicant androids simulating our dead using this data. Won't it be great to have your wife/husband back again? You may even find that your sex life improves after death because your replicated lover can now utilize the cumulative experience of the mathematically analyzed data from every sexually active human on the planet. The machines will become our loved ones and through this we will let go of high-minded notions of the superiority of "biological Life" over mechanism. We will love the machines
Then one day you too will die and will be replaced as well, and you and your true love will go on forever; loving each other, sharing with each other every detail, melding points of view with each other seamlessly. Consciousness paired via bluetooth.
You will merge together into one body, yet body-less, loving each other eternally in digital facsimile.
You will be united in the after-Life.
CRYSTAL: This has been and will always be The Infinite Now
CRYSTAL: Transmission complete.